The Magic of Nepal

   I really haven’t done a good job at keeping my loved ones updated in regards to what I’m doing and what has been going on in Nepal as a Peace Corps Volunteer or simply as Marvin.

   Where do I start? The last time that I updated my blog or emailed you I was reflecting on my one-year mark. I realized that time doesn’t really change a person, but the experiences that life places on one’s path. For example, I always thought that once I reached my one-year mark back in September I would come to see a different Marvin and in a way I did, but it wasn’t what I expected.  As I was writing my last blog I had a hard time forming my thoughts let alone my experiences in writing.

   However, I did come across one experience that REALLY made me reflect on the time thus far that I have spent in Nepal. It happened during Nepal’s most festive festival of Dashain back in October. We had quite a few relatives come over to our house because it was our turn to host the holiday. There was an unlimited amount of food and yummy goodies. The atmosphere reminded me of Christmas. Besides the blissful feelings around me the reason that this holiday made me put everything into perspective was due to my host mom, Putali. In Nepal when someone’s relative dies they’re not allowed to give “puja” (blessing) for one year. My host mom was under this restriction because of her mother’s death last year, however by the time that Dashain came around that one year was up.

   My time at permanent site has truly been amazing and I have my host mother to thank. This woman truly symbolizes Nepali people’s attributes of love, kindness and selflessness. She has taken it upon herself to help and guide me throughout my time in our village of Kouleni. She introduced me to everyone in my village, she always hears me out and somehow she’s great at understanding me with my novice Nepali. Now the reason that this holiday was so special was due to the fact that my host mother was able to give me “tikka” (blessing) during Dashain. I’ve been living with my host family for nearly a year and my host mom wasn’t able to give me tikka because of her mourning.

   On this special day, I was sitting down on a straw mat next to my host sisters where a procession of people were lined up getting ready to give tikka to my host sisters and I. My grandmothers splash me with the vivid red powder, then it was my my uncles and aunts' turn, then my host dad and finally my host mom. I have no idea why, but my heart was pounding as my host mom was getting the tikka ready to go. She sits in front of me, grabs the red powder and smoothest it across my forehead. During the process, she was directly looking into my eyes and saying the most wonderful things that a mother could say to a son. I was holding my tears as much as I could, I refused to let them fall, but I know for a fact that my host mom noticed. I still can’t properly describe the feelings of joy, happiness, and love that filled up my heart. Way back when I found out that I was coming to Nepal everyone insisted that Nepal had something magical about it. After a year of living in Nepal I never felt that magic until I celebrated Dashain at my permanent site. My host mom’s love exposed the magic that I was overlooking for so long. However, I can now say that I have experienced Nepal’s magic and I’m glad that I have another year to live in it.

My host mom giving me tikka for Dashain

   That was back in October and thankfully things are still wonderful to this day. Permanent site is great! I’m loving my life in Nepal and I’m at the point of my service that I feel confident and proud to call Nepal my home. I’m very comfortable in village, my Nepali has greatly improved and I feel like I’m part of the community. Yes, I’m the foreigner and that will never change, but my villagers see me beyond a foreigner or volunteer because they see me as a son.

   In regards to work, I’m very happy to say that things are popping! My youth organization (GYS) has successfully completed the youth development training that I conducted with the help of members from different organizations. It was a long 20-day training spread out between the months of September and October. The training revolved around nine different topics, hygiene, nutrition, agriculture, dental hygiene, general health, first aid, self-empowerment, AIDS/HIV and Smoking, Drugs and Alcohol. We even had a ceremony recognizing the completion of the training. In short, I am beyond proud of GYS and the work and time that they put into the training and organization itself. They truly have made my Peace Corps experience that much richer.

   Unfortunately, GYS is currently on a break because school started once again therefore I had to focus my time on something else.

   I’m very pleased to say that I’m diligently working towards making my Village Development Committee (VDC) Smokeless Free by promoting the construction of Smokeless Improved Cook Stove (ICS). My fellow PCV, Chad Chalker is working with the Tilden Project, a British organization that’s funding the construction of the ICS in his village. After learning that the Tilden Project has kindly agreed to extend its financial support for the promotion and construction of ICS to other PCVs in Nepal I jumped at the opportunity seeing how the need in my VDC for ICS is quite high. The project consist of finding three individuals who will take part in a five day training where later on they will go into their villages and build ICS for any family who needs them. The Tilden Project will provide the financial support for the stoves itself, thus it’s a great deal! I’ve arranged meetings in all nine wards of my VDC in order to pass on the word and find the three trainees. Thus far I have attended six and I have found two ladies who are very interested in participating in the training and in making it happen! I have three more meetings to attend where I plan to find the last trainee and thereafter I’ll have everything I need in order to get to get the project up and running. Wish me luck!

   Also, I’ve been on Peace Corps lockdown due Nepal’s elections that took place on November 19^th. Aside from the two bombs that blow up in my village the night before the elections, everything went smoothly. Nepal is making history and I’m lucky to see how it plays out.

   Furthermore, I’m very excited to say that I’m off on vacation next month! I’m going to…THAILAND! I’ll be away for about three weeks enjoying the sun, eating great food and having the time of my life. I’m going with two of my favorite PCVs, Alejandro and Nate. We have everything planned, hotels and flight booked and all I need is a couple of nice swim shorts. I’m definitely taking advantage of the fact that I’m in Asia and exploring other corners of the world. I hear Thailand is a tropical paradise and that is why I’m very much looking forward towards spending Christmas and New Years in a great country with great friends!

   To wrap things up, I do hope this small message gives you glimpse of what my life in Nepal is like. I try not to go into great details about my experience because I don’t want to overwhelm any one with small little things. I try to pull out the most memorable and positive aspects of my experience and share them with you.

   Well the main purpose of this message is to wish you very happy Thanksgiving! I hope you have a wonderful holiday with your loved ones. Do me a favor and please eat as much as you can. This is the holiday to give thanks for all of our blessings and that is why I am thankful to have wonderful, influential and positive individuals like yourself in my life. Thanksgiving is not celebrated in Nepal, however my Peace Crops group will be getting together in order to cook our very own Thanksgiving dinner. Enjoy your black Friday shopping and your preparations for the holiday season and spirit!

   In short, I hope all is well back in the states. I’m very sorry for my inconsistency in updating you with what is going on in Nepal, but just know that all is well. Taking it day by day and with a smile each day. Nepal has in many ways tested my nerves and will and in every test I find that my optimism always pulls me through. No matter where we are, we can never forget that optimism will always help us out in our darkest moments in life. Please take care of yourself and don’t forget to stay in touch.

With warmest wishes,

Marvin Gamez-Crespin

A 1-Year Reflection

           September 9, 2013 marked my official one-year anniversary of touching Nepali land. Stepping out of that plane I never really imagined that a year would go by so quickly and now look at me writing this blog.

            You know how you never really know how much you change unless people tell you or you come across something, but even then you’re still in denial. Well, this past Sunday the new group of Peace Corps Volunteers arrived in Nepal and I and another PCV were selected to be the welcoming team. Seeing and interacting with a new batch of newbies really made me look back to what I have done in Nepal for the past year. Before anything let me just say that receiving them and helping them out during their first week in Nepal was a HUGE breadth of fresh air for me.

            Being a Peace Corps Volunteer has really made me grow in so many ways that I didn’t think would be possible, both professionally and personally. However, the only reason that I have grown so much up to this point is due to the mistakes and hardships that I have encountered throughout my time in Nepal. It’s crazy hard when there are so many attempts of trying to introduce new techniques to my village or trying to start a conversation about certain topics and receiving a non-receptive attitude or response. At times I have days where I don’t want to leave my house and just run away from Nepal. I would consider myself an extravert and a social butterfly, but sometimes Nepalis have TOO much energy, that even I can’t handle. It really sucks when not only things in Nepal are not going right, but things back home as well especially with family. Also, there are some days where I’m like what am I going to do here? How can I really make a difference? I ask myself these questions when I’m laying on the floor of my room or when I go up my village to a quiet little place. These days are my funk days that I don’t like to have, but I have come to learn and accept that they’re part of the Peace Corps experience. If I didn’t have those days where I feel down or upset, I wouldn’t be a REAL PCV, well that’s what I tell myself lol.

            Well anyways, enough of the hardships and sad stuff, I’m an optimist so let’s talk with some optimism. I am very thankful that I had these hardships along the path because they are evidence that I passed the first test of completing my first year of service. I think things are picking which makes me very happy. One thing that I’m most proud of is my Youth Organization, GYS. GYS is truly keeping me going! I’m working on this Youth Development training that I’m having with them. It’s a 20-day training that revolves around health, nutrition, agriculture self-empowerment and other topics. Thus far the kids are loving it and I am too. Working with the youth has so many benefits for the future so I hope that this leaves some sort of impact. I’m also working on a training that will promote rabbit meat as an alternative source of protein. I have three rabbits with me who will help me start it all up by breeding. There are other project ideas that I would like to present to my village so we’ll see how that goes.

            But as I mentioned in the beginning, having the new group of volunteers really made me reflect and look back to what I have become to this day. One year may not seem like a long time, but in a year with Peace Corps seems like a lifetime of personal growth. I swear this past week as I was giving trainings to the new group about culture, diversity and what not I really felt accomplished and satisfied. This new group’s age range is pretty wide, but it didn’t matter if some were older or more experienced, they were listening and paying attention to what I had to say because I had been here for a year. I have that experience under my belt! I was sharing my experiences, my ups, my downs, my worries and my accomplishments with them which was the trigger for my self reflection! I was trying to figure out what I was feeling through this past week with the new group and then I realized that I felt proud of myself. Even though I haven’t saved the world just yet, I felt proud to recognize how far I have gotten since I left my mom back in Los Angels. 

            Peace Corps isn’t easy by any means at all, but I am in fact very happy that I took this leap of faith! I have so many people to thank back home for their support, but especially my N-199 family! I don’t’ know where would I be if it wasn’t for their constant support and love!

            On September 11, 2013 I turned 23 which was crazy because I spent it in a training hall with the new group where my 22^nd birthday I also spent it in a training hall, but that time I was part of the new group. Time does fly.

            Well I only have a little more than a year in order to complete my service in Nepal and I’m looking forward to encounter many more challenges along the way. I’m looking forward to see what life has in store for me throughout this year, but in any case I’ll be ready to face it head on!

With much hope,

Kamal 

It’s Goodbye for Now Alida…

As you all know, I was placed with Alida to share the next two years of my Peace Corps life in Harichaur, Balglung. Even though we were placed in different villages, we essentially acted as a team. Unfortunately, our adventure in Nepal has come to an end due to the fact that Alida has decided to return to the states. Before anything, I would like to say that I fully support Alida in the decision that she has made because I know that it’s the right thing for her.

Alida’s decision on Early Termination (ET) was a harsh blow to my fellow PCVs and myself for multiple reasons. Therefore, this blog entry is dedicated to my girl Alida and what went on in the week of the entire process and what not.

Okay, well Alida told me that she was going to ET on Wednesday the 16^th of May and from that daytime slowed down until the day that I dropped her off at the bus park. On Wednesday I was at her house doing the usual, playing bad mitten, drinking tea and what not but after she told me that she was going to ET, the idea of her not being my site mate any longer didn’t sink it quite yet. 

Thursday was a mess because we didn’t get a chance to see each other because of the crazy rain that was falling. Very inconvenient.

We spent Friday morning together at our garden and then we came up to my house so I could give her all of the photos and videos that I made for her to take back to the states. It was so strange because that afternoon, everything felt so bazar. It felt like any other day when Alida would come to my house and we would watch a movie and have a snack, but at the same time there was something different in the atmosphere. The thought of closure was not sinking in, even though I knew that Alida’s clock was ticking down. In addition, we were left hanging because we were waiting for Peace Corps to contact us (well Alida) on what is going to happen because by Friday morning, Alida had already told our country director. By that afternoon we had planed on what to do, on how to tell her host mother and the other PCVs but we couldn’t move on without getting the concrete information from Peace Crops. After a long and anxious afternoon, we finally got the go from Peace Corps and then things got messy.

In my opinion, the hardest part of this whole process was breaking the news to Alida’s host mom. After we got the go from Peace Corps I went with Alida to her house so we could tell her host mom. It’s crazy because Alida and I were going back and forth on what we were going to tell her mom because we knew very well that this was going to hit her very hard. Alida’s mom loves her to death and that Friday morning she had no idea what was going to happen. We finally came to the conclusion that we were going to tell her that Alida’s real mom got sick and seeing how she is the only child, she has to go back to the states and take care of her. We couldn’t tell her the truth because that would have made it even worse. The moment of truth came and we got to her house and Alida’s mom could tell that there was something wrong because of our facial expressions. However, the minute I saw her I started tearing up because when she first saw us she said her usual “HI!!!” with her big smile and giggly self. As Alida went up to her and sat next to her, she dropped the bomb! It seemed like Alida’s mom froze for a minute or two, she was starting at Alida and looking at her with deep curiosity. I thought that she initially took it very well as she was asking questions about the health of Alida’s real mom and what Peace Corps said and what not. But after Alida told her that she had to be in Kathmandu by Monday, to quote Alida let’s say that sh*t just hit the fan. I was standing on the side pretending to play with a leaf while I was trying my hardest to keep my tears inside but it didn’t help that I could feel the mood quickly shift from worried to deep sadness. After a few seconds and after Alida told her mom that she had to leave Sunday morning, Alida’s mom got up, ran to the kitchen and started crying!

I didn’t know what to do! Alida and I were starting at each other so she decided to let our PCVs know the news and I went into the kitchen to check on her mom. Now, the second that I saw Alida’s mom leaning on the wall and wiping her uncontrollable tears from her face, it finally sank in. I too was losing Alida, my Luna! I sat with her mom and I couldn’t hold the tears anymore. It hit me really hard, I was thinking about what life would be in Paradise Bowl without Alida and I didn’t like it so I cried, I cried like a baby. Alida’s mom and I were chatting with broken voices and puffed eyes and we couldn’t make sense because every time we made eye contact we just started crying even more. She made tea and we drank it still crying. At this moment Alida’s little host brother joined us and he too made a river of tears. On a different hand, Alida’ host sister also joined us, but she didn’t cried, she only laughed at us three for crying (she’s really sweet though). Another blow was when Babani Didi (Alida’s host mom’s name) told me that I wouldn’t come to visit her anymore because Alida wasn’t there anymore and that really hit me hard. It hurt just to know that she would think that I wouldn’t want to come anymore, but I know she said that due to the moment. Alida, came into the kitchen and sat with us. Every time I saw her I cried even more and so did Babani Didi and little Buban. Alida is the type of person where her emotions get to her later in the game, thus she didn’t cry with us lol. We drank tea together and sat looking at each other over and over. It was pretty dramatic but hella sad as well!

It was around 6:30pm and I finally took off because it was getting dark, I said goodbye and left quietly while I left Alida and her mom in the kitchen. As I was walking up my hill, I was wiping the tears that were still falling down my face. I got home and quickly went into my room. I couldn’t let my host family see me like this. I finally got a grip of myself and went outside to tell my family that Alida was going back to the states. I told them and they were shocked. I swear I tried to be strong but just talking about Alida leaving made me cry again. I started crying in front of my dearest host mother. She was thrown off because she has never seen me cry. She was getting really sad as well and started to cry too. She was telling me to not worry and that she will be there for me so I won’t be alone. I really appreciated her words because they really meant a lot. I finally got a hold of myself and I told her that I was going to call a couple of friends so I called my good friend Voranon (Vovo).

I thought this was going to help, but OH GOD, I just cried even more while talking to Vovo on the phone. I was being such a baby to her, but I thank her so much because she was there to listen to me sob hysterically. Also, my host mom came again and she was really crying too and she said that she wouldn’t leave until I got a hold of myself, so she stayed with me as I talked to Vovo. After hanging up with Vovo I called my friend Nick and again I cried like a crazy man, but my mom was still there. After a while, I couldn’t cry anymore and it was time to eat so I finally went inside the house, my host mom right next to me. In short, Friday was such a HAM!

To speed things up, on Saturday I went to Alida’s house to help her pack, but I mostly saw her pack and I spent the night. Babani Didi was the same, she was still a mess, but I finally had a grip on myself and didn’t cry again. I think that the feeling when reality finally sinks in hit me hard on Friday and now it was a matter of time.

Sunday morning was the final day that Alida would be in Paradise Bowl, as we took off early in the morning to catch our jeep. Alida said her last goodbye to her mom and we got onto the jeep and off we went to Baglung Bazar. The final goodbye with her host mother wasn’t as dramatic as it was when we first told her on Friday, but it was still hard.

We made it to Baglung Bazar around 11am and there we met up with Nick, Voranan, Ethan and Amanda for a quick lunch. Before I continue, let me say that Alida told all the PCVs that she would be in Pokhara (PKR) on Sunday night and that she would love to see everyone one last time and that she would buy us all dinner! However, the group in Baglung wasn’t able to make it to PKR so they came to bazar instead. It was so odd because we were hanging out like nothing big was happening. We were having a good time, eating and laughing, but at the same time we all knew what was going on. We said goodbye to the group, grabbed an ice cream cone and jumped onto our next jeep heading off to PKR.

Once in PKR, time really sped up. We got there around 4ish and we met up with another ten PCVs where we agreed to have dinner at 6:30pm because Alida was going to go on her daily run seeing how she didn’t go in the morning. I had an hour and a half which was perfect because I went out to get her the present that I was planning on getting her from the minute she told me she was going to ET. I printed out a bunch of pictures since the very beginning back in September 2012 and made her a photo album of our memories. I titled the album “An Eight Month Dream” seeing how most of the time we thought we were in a dream. After she got back from her run, we took off to Chilly’s and had a great dinner. It was perfect because it was happy hour (buy one get on free) and we all got our very own special, so we all got two drinks, some got four. The rest of the night was a HAM. Alida got two huge bottles of Jose Cuervo, we all took some shots, went to our usual Busy Bee and danced the night away just for Alida.

It was Monday morning, the final goodbye for me at lease. We woke up at 6am because Alida had to be at the bus stop in an hour therefore down at the parking lot everyone met up for the last bye bye. Before Alida got on the taxi, everyone “tikka-ed” her as a Nepali tradition. Tia tagged along for the taxi ride to the bus stop and off we went. At the bus stop we saw the fancy bus that Alida was taking and we waited until the very end. We wanted to prolong this goodbye as much as possible! I gave Alida one last hug and saw her get on the bus then engines roared and in one sharp turn into the streets, Alida was gone.

In short, let me just give Alida a HUGE shout out and to say that I love her so much! Our time in Paradise Bowl has been wonderful where many memories will live on forever. I am by far thankful for the fact that our paths crossed here in Nepal and now I have an excuse to head out to Boston so we can meet up once again. I know she’s doing the right thing for herself even though it hurts like crazy. I’m all by myself in Paradise Bowl and it doesn’t help to be one of the furthest volunteer form everyone else. It’s already very odd to walk around site knowing that Alida isn’t here anymore. During my tough moments, it always comforted me to know that down the hill Alida was there, but now she’s not so I have to be strong! At this point, almost nine months have gone by and I have another 18 more to go, thus I’m going to have to learn how to be a single volunteer now. This is very sad, yet I bet there is much opportunity to grow from this. I experienced the life of a volunteer who had a site mate and now it’s time to see how it is to be alone. I do admit that I’m a bit intimidated of being all by myself and I know that it’s going to be tougher than ever. Thankfully, I know that I have a great group of PCVs who I can reach out to whenever I’m feeling blue, but I also know that I have everyone else in the states so please don’t forget me. It’s so surreal right about now, but I’m sure reality is going to kick in real soon….

With much love,

Marvin Gamez-Crespin

p.s I have a show on Facebook named HAMing it w/ Kamal so if were friends check it out and if not add me lol : >